Are Mormon's Self-Deceived?

When I went through my crisis of faith I heard a number of different accusations about the Church that I now group under the label of "self-deception".  I include in this accusations of belonging to a cult, indoctrination, suppression of thought, blind obedience, and anti-intellectualism.  Along with these is the concept of confirmation bias, the idea that people tend to favor information that confirms their beliefs. It is the accusation of not being willing or able to admit the truth of something because it conflicts with our beliefs.  Also in this group is the accusation that members spiritual experiences are really just emotion, or were imagined in order to justify belief in things that do not rationally make sense.  The member is accused of only having “good feelings” about the church because it is what is most comfortable and that is how they were raised.  The follow up to that is the idea that we can’t trust our feelings because they can be deceptive.

These accusations of self-deception are powerful because it attacks the very core of our beliefs and who we are.  It is especially effective because it devalues any defense that the accused wants to respond with.  It is however just another tactic of Satan.  

It is helpful to recognize the critics motivation behind such accusations.  It is not in my opinion a sinister motivation, but a logical conclusion.  If they do not believe in God or that our Church is true, the only conclusion from their set of beliefs is that our spiritual experiences must be the result of self-deception.  They are simply trying reconcile their beliefs with a number of things that if true, would destroy their belief system. Among these is having to explain millions of members testimonies of the Book of Mormon, prayers answered, and spiritual experiences.  They are trying to explain millions of members devotion to the Church and willingness to follow the prophet.

But our witness of the Gospel can be, and must be, independent of others.  How can another person deny our experience, if they have not experienced it themselves?  The following parable told by Elder Douglas Callister may be helpful:

“Years ago a man was accused of a serious crime. The prosecution presented three witnesses, each of whom saw the man commit the crime. The defense then presented three witnesses, none of whom had seen its commission. The simple jury was confused. Based on the number of witnesses, the evidence seemed to the jury equally divided. The man was acquitted. It was irrelevant, of course, that untold millions had never seen the crime. There needed to be only one witness.  In the genius of the gospel plan, there ultimately only has to be one witness, but that witness must be you.”

Just because one person denies that something can happen does not prove that it can not.  Elder Callister continues that “truth has never been determined by the number of people that embrace it.”  

Elder Oaks teaches that critics accuse members of blind obedience because they fail to understand the reality of personal revelation.  “When it comes to learning and knowing the truth of the gospel—our personal testimonies—we each have a direct relationship with God, our Eternal Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ, through the powerful witness of the Holy Ghost. It puzzles [our critics] that we can be united in following our leaders and yet independent in knowing for ourselves.

It is normal that our faith should be challenged, it contributes to the growth we have been sent to this earth for. These accusations are not new.  Laman and Lemuel complained against their Father’s visions and decision to leave Jerusalem, claiming they were because of the “foolish imaginations” of his heart. And Korihor does a classic example of calling members of Christ's church as belonging to a cult.

When I first heard accusations like these it caused me to doubt my own spiritual experiences. I sometimes felt like I had regain a knowledge that the Church was true, but I wasn't allowed to use Moroni's promise in order to prove it. I became overly concerned with analyzing myself to prove to myself, God, and others that I was not self-deceived.

Eventually I realized that I was never going to be able to prove it to others that I was not self-deceived. Others can always say the "Mormon way" of revelation does not work because it is impossible to extracate "confirmation bias" from the approach.  But it does not matter what they think, and I just have to be comfortable with others judging me.  Isaiah taught:  “Fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings.”

But how do I prove it to myself? How do I know that I am right before God as well?

The first that helped me was to pray. I poured out my soul to God, letting him know how badly I wanted to do his will, and the complexities of the thoughts that I was having. One of the first ways I realize now that he answered me was by teaching me the thoughts that I have shared in post. I have found that God most often answers my prayers not a with a big YES or NO and a strong feeling. I find he will teach me line upon line. So that instead of just saying like a bad parent "its true because I said so" he helps me gradually understand why it is true. And those answers will come quietly through the spirit as we seek them from the scriptures, listen in Church and General Conference, and as we ponder deeply the doctrine.

Eventually I did receive a powerful spiritual witness specifically addressing my concerns about being self-deceived. I know it was from God, and I rejoice in him and in his mercy. I know that he cares deeply about the questions we have, and our sincere desires for testimony.


Every once and a while I will still have doubt. What if I am self-deceived? What if my answers were imagined? When this happens I must use faith to bridge that gap.  You can look at any spiritual experience with logic and find a way to go: "well you know, what you experienced could just be XY or Z". So how do you know its not XYZ?  That is where faith comes in. We have to choose to believe it is from God.  I have shared before that the holy ghost gives knowledge, perfect knowledge, that still requires faith to act upon it.  So of course there is always XY and Z. We are here to develop faith, and the Holy Ghost is designed for us to know the truth, but still require faith to act upon it.  


I choose to exercise faith that my answers are from God. If in the moment I can not say "I know it is true", than I exercise faith. I remember the past spiritual experiences and joys, and look forward with hope towards all the promised blessings that God has given.  I have long since found spiritual strength from Bishop Edgley's talk entitled Faith-The Choice is Yours.

Another line of thought that has sometimes been helpful in these moments is considering the alternative. Some of these thoughts include: If this is not God's Church, where else would I go? I do not think I could believe in God if this was not his Church. If there is no God, and this is the only life, what's the worst that can happen? It does not seem a waste to me to believe in something that is not true, as long as it makes my one life happy.

I again leave my witness that this is the Lord's Church. I share my experience that he will specifically address any concerns that you have about your testimony. And I testify that he does give spiritual answers to rational questions.

Why The Mormon Church is a Cult

I have often heard or read of members who leave The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints accusing the Church of being a cult.   I have heard testimonies that speak of indoctrination and suppression of thought, and some of these can be particularly moving because the uneducated reader assumes he must be unbiased because he was a former member of the cult.  

There are 3 particular charges that I have heard that if true, must undoubtedly label the Mormon church as a cult, in the modern interpretation of the word cult.  I want to go through the charges, and discuss how my experience has been different.  

Mormons Can't Ask Questions

First, I have heard that Mormons are discouraged from asking questions or scrutinizing their beliefs.  These former members cite programs in the Church designed to suppress the fecundity of independent thought.  Only, that has not been my experience in the church.  I was taught that it was essential that I know for myself that the Church is true, and that I not rely on any one else’s testimony.  

I will share just three quotes by leaders of the Church to express that this was and is the attitude of the Church

Elder Uchkdorf said: In this Church that honors personal agency so strongly, that was restored by a young man who asked questions and sought answers, we respect those who honestly search for truth. It may break our hearts when their journey takes them away from the Church we love and the truth we have found, but we honor their right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their own conscience, just as we claim that privilege for ourselves.

Elder Samuelson, in a talk called “The Importance of Asking Questions” said: “Some seem to believe that faith and questions are antithetical. Such could not be further from the truth. The Restoration itself was unfolded by the proper and necessary melding of both. The Prophet Joseph Smith had both faith and questions. Indeed, the passage of scripture that led Joseph to the Sacred Grove experience includes both a question and the promise of an answer based on the asker’s faith.”

Brigham Young: “I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by Him. I am fearful they settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken that influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way.”

Mormons Can Only Read Church Printed Material

The 2nd accusation I have heard of the Church is the practice of forbidding its members to read apostate or anti-Mormon material, under threat of losing religious privileges. I ask, What religious privileges were you ever threatened to lose?  I know of none.  I have read many anti-Mormon materials and never received any censorship of any kind. There are several church articles written on the subject, none of which say anything forbidding members of reading it.

The only thing I remember growing up in the Church, and the only thing that those articles say, is to be careful if you read anti-Mormon literature, because much of it is not true and can give one doubts.  I was told it might not be a good idea to read anti, but that was the extant.  

Here is a quote from one of those articles, printed in a church magazine: We’re not against honest inquiry in the Church. We welcome it. The Apostle Paul said, “Prove all things; hold fast that which is good” (1 Thessalonians 5:21). The Prophet Joseph Smith said, “One of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism’ is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may” (History of the Church, 5:499).

Elder Samuelson continues in his talk: “you should feel free to read any commentaries about the Book of Mormon that you wish, but be sure that you spend adequate time reading the Book of Mormon itself directly and then ask the important question it asks you.” (i.e., to ask God).

Mormons Cover Up Their History

The third charge I have heard laid against the Church is its tendency to cover up unfavorable historical issues.  Former members often speak of the "shock" they experienced when they finally discovered the "truth" about Church history. While some of what they learned may be true, (thought likely presented without all the facts), I ask: what issues?  Most “historical issues” that I have ever been presented with (and then told that the Mormon church covers up) I have been able to find printed in Church publications.  Here is a link to a website that lists all of these cover ups printed in Church publications. http://en.fairmormon.org/Mormonism_and_history/Censorship_and_revision/Hiding_the_facts   http://en.fairmormon.org/Mormonism_and_history/Censorship_and_revision

I do admit that many of the historical issues that I have read about were things that I was not taught in Sunday school growing up in the church.  There have been a few times that I would learn something that initially is a little surprising,  though once I have investigated there is nothing that really bothers me.  But the reason I was not taught these growing up is because they are not big issues, and the only reason I would be taught about them is so I could then defend the issues against Church critics. But that is not the purpose of Church.  The Church is not preoccupied with defending or proving itself, it is preoccupied with building faith in Christ.

Cults Are Not A New Thing

But accusations of being a part of a cult, though frustrating,  are not a new tactic of Satan.  Korihor in the Book of Mormon, accused members of the Church of Christ of belonging to a cult, and not realizing they belong to a cult.  He then accuses the Church of many qualities, which if true, would undoubtedly label the Church as a cult. They are as follows:

• Members bound down by a foolish and vain hope.  (13)

• Believe in future event that no man can know of. (13)
• Believe in prophets and foolish traditions handed down by parents. (14)
• Claim to know things which they cannot see without evidence. (15)
• Claim spiritual healing, but this is just the effect of a frenzied and deranged mind because of the tradition of parents.  (16)
• Perform foolish ordinances designed by leaders to indoctrinate members.  (23)
• Leaders usurp power and authority over members, keep them in ignorance, that members do not lift up their head or questions their leaders. (23)
• Leaders tell members they have freedom, but really they are in bondage to their leaders. (24).
• Members claim to have knowledge of things that they really do not and can not know the truth of. (24)
• Leaders keep members in bondage to make money and profit.(27)
• Members fear to act differently or question in case they offend their leaders (28).
• Members brought to believe by their traditions, dreams, whims, visions, and pretended mysteries that if they act out of line they will anger God. (28)

Does this sound familiar? This chapter in the Book of Mormon to me is one of the evidences of the Book of Mormon.  It reveals the tactics that Satan uses today, and I have heard every single one of them before from people trying to criticize the Church.    How could Joseph Smith, if he was the author of the Book of Mormon, have known that the Church would constantly be accused of being a cult?  Why would he write a detailed and accurate description of a cult, condemn it, and then start an organization that does just that?  How “conspiracy theory” is the critic willing to go?  To say, “oh, he wrote it so he could then deny when he did himself.”  If one follows that conspiracy theory, we then at the very least must praise his prophetic insight in so accurately depicting the accusations that would be thrown against the church for decades to come.

The critics response to our response that we are not a cult is often like this: “Well, of course you can’t see that you are indoctrinated,  you are part of the cult itself.”  We then respond with “well its not a cult, and I find no evidence to support your accusations of it being a cult.”  They respond “well that’s just what they tell you, you are self-deceived and can not see the truth.” All anti-Mormon literature and LDS apologetics that I have ever read quickly becomes like this, a circular battle of he said/she said.  

There will always be critics of the Church.  This tactic of accusing members of being biased, self-deceived, anti-intellectual,  and indoctrinated is powerful, because it devalues any defense that the accused wants to respond with.  This is though just another tactic of Satan.  It is not true, I know that it is not true.  I know who I am, and I know my witness of the Church is true, and is from God.   We must remember this injunction of Isaiah: “Fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings.”

My Doubts Trial

So this is just a part of what I went through, and is kind of the unedited short version. I might change it a little in the future, I just wanted to have it here for people to see.

There was a period in my life where I was plagued with doubts about the church.  Though at the time I could see no specific cause, it felt as though my testimony had been ripped from me.  I had memories of a testimony and spiritual experiences, but they seemed a fuzzy memory.

My specific doubts were varied and numerous. Most came from anti-mormon sources that at the time I had no way to verify its truth.  These included disputations about biblical scripture, and historical and scientific issues.  

Like many others, I also struggled greatly with knowing whether what I was feeling was actually the spirit?  How did I know that it was?  Was I sure?  I have felt good feelings many times, listening to music, hearing about an exciting thing, how did I know?

In a similar way I also feared being biased. I knew that I was greatly invested in the church, and leaving the church would not be an easy thing to do.  Most of these fears came from criticisms I had heard against the church.  Among them came my fears of being self-deceived, confusing emotion for the spirit, imagining an answer because I want it, or “feeling good” about the Church simply because it was ingrained in me as a child.  I would doubt any answers I thought I had received because I feared to do one of the things above.

  

For example, during this time I prayed constantly for a witness of the gospel using Moroni’s promise.  But part of Moroni’s promise included the injunction to have real intent. I interpreted that to me that if an investigator of the church had to really intend to join the church if they got a yes answer, than I must be willing and have real intent to leave the church if I get a no answer. So I doubted I would receive an answer because I was not truly willing to leave the church. The church was part of my very being.  It was my culture, my family, my relationship with God, and my commitments.  Could I really be as a child and tell the Lord I would be willing to leave it?

One scripture from Alma 32 kept me going at that time.   “34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing”.  At the time I could not say that I had a perfect knowledge of the truthfulness of the church.  But I had a perfect knowledge or--“I knew”--that at one point I did have what I thought was a testimony of the church.  I knew that at one point I had felt wonderful feelings that I thought were impressions from the spirit.  I knew that the church brought me happiness. I knew that at one point I had seen miracles from the priesthood. And there were many other elements that I knew at one point I considered part of my testimony.

But during that time I constantly used the Lord’s method to discern truth.  I studied the scriptures, prayed about everything, and wrote in my journal.  I would have what I thought were incredible spiritual experiences, but the next day would wake up still feeling the doubt.

I pleaded for a witness and a testimony for months. It occupied all my thoughts. It seemed to no avail.  But I kept waiting for my seed of testimony to burst through the soil. And it did. The answer came through the scriptures with a spiritual witness so powerful that all doubt was purged from my mind and body.  The answer was so specific, it felt like the Lord was there personally addressing my concerns that only he knew about.  I felt as though I had seen an angel.  The doubt never came back.  With the doubt removed, I was also able to look back and recognize the dozens of signs and spiritual experiences that I had received during my doubts trial, though I did not recognize them at the time.

I used to wonder why the Lord waited so long to answer my prayer. Was it not likely that I would eventually give into doubt and quit watering my seed of testimony?  But the Lord knew what was best for me.  He knew that a continual feeling of doubt would cause me to seek more diligently than I had ever sought for a testimony of the Gospel. And that that effort of seeking would qualify me (DC 82:10) for the blessing of a witness of the Gospel that could never be shaken.  I am grateful for my experience in so many ways.

I promise you that you can receive a similar witness. The Lord wants to give it to you.  He is generous is giving revelation. So do not give up yet.  Enos speaks of the wrestle he had with God.  I’ve wrestled, and doubted, but answers did come.  Dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith. 

I conclude my testimony with Alma’s promise: If ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish [your testimony] as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life. 42 And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

A Few More Tips To Handle Anti-Mormon Literature

A Few More Tips To Handle Anti-Mormon Literature

I wanted to share a few lines of thought that helped me navigate some of the doubts that anti-Mormon literature gave me. They are kind of random thoughts, but hopefully they may be helpful. If you are new to my writing, check out my About Me and Why I Write Post. first.

To start I want to write about some of the common characteristics that I have found anti to have.  1st, anti often makes a big deal out of something that really isn't a big deal.  Second, it spins things in ways that are true but sound really bad.  So when someone tries to counter argue, it just sounds weak, and makes it seem as though the bad thing that was said must be true. Third, if it is effective anti it can cause great doubt in just a sentence or two.  This anti could be completely untrue, unfair, or out of context.  But explaining why it is unfair, untrue, or out of context takes a lot more ink and explanation then it took just to cast the doubt.  Some examples of anti that has all these characteristics is “Jesus and Satan are brothers.” or “There have been 1000's of changes made to the Book of Mormon.”  Fourth: Anti like this will be given in groups with other more blatantly untrue things.  Because it comes in a list or all at once, you are unable to adequately defend yourself.

Recognizing these characteristics was one of the first things that helped me sift through my doubts.  Here is some additional line of thinking that may be useful to find the courage to walk away.

1. Often anti is shared is a spirit of competitiveness, ridicule, and even anger.  But Paul said that this is not the way to preach the Gospel.  

23 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes.

24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,

25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will (2 Timothy 2).

This debate type of preaching is the most common way that I am introduced to anti.  Not in a spirit of meekness.  When this happens, I have no problem rejecting their whole message, because the messenger is certainly not called of God.

2. I look for the one thing that is obviously not true, or obviously unfair. (and if you are presented with a list, you can surely find one thing).  A good place to double check the accusations is the apologetic websites I listed above.   I have no problem rejecting the whole list after reading just that one, because whoever wrote the list is obviously a liar or incredibly ignorant.

3.  I recognize that most of the reason anti or accusations about the Church makes me have doubt is not because I am actually concerned about what is being said or accused.  I realize that I fear others doubts and accusations.  It bugs me because it bugs them.  But really I should be my own person, and not worry about the doubts that others have.   Isaiah put it best:  "Fear ye not the reproach (disapproval) of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings” (Isaiah 51:7).

About Me, Why I Write, And What I Write About

I am an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  A few years ago I went through a crisis of my faith where I had many doubts about the Church and my testimony.  I have decided to finally compile and write down all the different thoughts and principles that helped me over come my doubts trial.  I hope they can be helpful to you in your journey.

If you have your own story that you want to tell, please contact me. I would like this to be a place where people can tell their story of how they had doubts about the Church, but were able to overcome them and remain faithful in the Church.

My blog is called Spiritual Answers to Rational Questions because I want to avoid what I think is one of the main problems with people who have doubts.  They start looking for signs, proof, or logical explanations to the truth of the Church and their doubts, and so get diverted on what is supposed to be a spiritual journey.  Instead of asking God, they ask the internet. I have many thoughts on this subject, and encourage you to start with my first two posts:

Why I Stopped Reading Mormon Apologetics
How I Walked Away From Anti-Mormon Literature

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I'm going to try not to be apologetic, and use to the scriptures and encourage faith and prayer as answers to most concerns.  I may be apologetic at time, but that is not really my intent.  I know the scriptures, faith, and prayer and be a frustrating answer to those who have doubts, it certainly was for me.  But, as you will read in my two posts above, it is the only thing that works.    There is a reason the Church seemingly repetitively teaches those principles.  Because they work! And people who have gotten them to work (like me) want so badly for them to work for others.

Why I Stopped Reading Mormon Apologetics

I used to struggle a lot with doubts about the Church because of anti-Mormon literature that I would read. I found myself trapped, often going back and forth between anti-Mormon literature and Mormon apologetics trying to discern what was true. I diligently searched, trying to understand what was true, but could never find a satisfactory answer.

Eventually I learned that the method of discovering truth that I was using was not the Lord’s way. The Lord spoke of this during his earthly ministry:

15 He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?
16 And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.
17 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven (Matthew 16).

Here Christ’s speaks of the Lord’s way (revelation) and the world’s way (flesh and blood). We know from the scriptures that the Lord’s way is to seek and ask God what the truth is, studying and applying his word, and receiving an answer directly from him through the Holy Spirit.

I eventually learned for myself that if I tried to find out if the Church is true using the internet, I was using the world’s way. I also group in the world’s way looking for signs or proof. Reading anti-Mormon literature and its counterpart, Mormon apologetics. Or just trying to study it out using logic and reason.

It is not that there is anything wrong with the world’s method of discovering truth. But what I learned is that if you use the world’s method to discover the truth of the Church, you will never get a satisfactory answer. All the proof in the world will not help someone believe. God designed it that their are always things we do not understand, so that we are forced to develop the gift of faith. Elder Callister taught: “There will always be some seemingly intellectual crisis looming on the horizon as long as faith is required and our minds are finite,”

This is not to imply a spirit of anti-intellectualism or ignoring things that conflict with our beliefs. But a recognition of the reality that there will always be things we do not understand, and these questions can coexist with absolute certainty through the revelations of the spirit.

I think people can get trapped with apologetics, going back and forth between apologetic and anti-Mormon sources, trying to find a satisfactory answer. Some fall away from the church doing this. As Paul teaches, they are “ever learning, and never able to come to knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7). I think a reason why is it makes a member falsely believe that they can prove the Church true by studying the evidences they learn with Mormon apologetics. It can become a form of seeking for signs to know the truth, which we know never satisfies. There are many signs showing the truth of the Church, but there will never be enough to create belief. (see 3 Nephi 2:1-2, and Helaman 16:13-23).

Walking away from anti-Mormon literature can be difficult because of the doubt that it brings. But I found that if I got out of the trap of studying things the world’s way I would find peace using the Lord’s method. Many times the Lord has specifically addressed rational concerns that I have prayed about. What also helped me walk away was recognizing that many of things that bothered me did not really bother me. They only bothered me because someone else said it should bother me.

My advice to anyone with doubts is first to spend your time filling your mind with the pure doctrine of Christ, instead of the reasonings of the world. Consider the merit of the doctrine itself, and test the principles in your life. Leave any intellectual issues to the side, and turn to Lord’s way of discerning truth.

I know many people struggle with it, and some deny the reality of it, but I bear witness that the Lord’s method of discerning truth does work. I testify that God does answer our prayers through the Holy Spirit. I used to doubt if an answer would ever come through the Lord's method. I get it when people get frustrated with it. But now due to countless spiritual experiences through the Holy Spirit and the Book of Mormon I testify that it most certainly will come. I know for certain that revelation is real, and I leave my witness that this is the Lord’s Church.

What do you think? Can apologetics be more harmful than it is good?

How I Walked Away From Anti-Mormon Literature

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are often criticized for having blind, uninformed obedience.  Sometimes they are criticized of being indoctrinated to ignore scientific and historical issues that conflict with the beliefs they hold dear.  

As an active member of the LDS Church I disagree with these criticisms.  But growing up in the Church, I was advised by my parents and leaders to not read anti-Mormon literature because it would give me doubts. While this may be good advice for a person with a young testimony, it is also a little naive because at some point, every member of the Church will inevitably read or hear criticisms of the Church and have doubts.  

Eventually I ran into my own doubts, and thus began my crisis of faith.  One big factor to this crisis came from anti-Mormon literature that I could never seem to find the "answer" to, and just could not walk away from.

Is it OK to walk away from anti-Mormon literature?

         For many, the question to walk away may be a very simple one.  They know from God the Church is true, and so they do not feel the need to read or accept as truth any literature or criticisms that others may assert.   

But for me and many others, walking away is difficult. Even though I had a spiritual witness that the Church was true, I would still find myself worrying about questions and doubts.   I would come across anti and “know” it’s not true, but sincerely doubt, what if it is? I feared I would do what our critics said we do: blindly ignoring the truth.  What if there was just something that "they" hadn't told me that definitively disproved the Church?

          I have since walked away, and found peace and certainty with my testimony of the Church.  I want to talk about how, at least in part, I was able to do that.  If you have family members or loved ones struggling with doubts or having a crisis of faith about the Church, please share this article with them.  This subject is especially important to me, because my own father fell away from the Church because he did not know how to deal with his own doubts as he ran into anti-Mormon and other philosophies that purported to answer the questions he had about religion.

Two Ways of Discerning Truth

The first step I had to do was recognize that the method of discovering truth that I was using is not the Lord’s way.  Jesus taught this principle during his mortal ministry:

15 He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

16 And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

17 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven (Matthew 16). Also see DC 50:17-22

Here Christ teaches of the two ways of discerning truth: the Lord’s way (revelation), and the world’s way (flesh and blood).  As we know from the scriptures, the Lord's way involves seeking and asking God what the truth is, studying his word,  and receiving an answer directly from him through the Holy Spirit.  But on my mission I would teach this principle many times, only to have an investigator come back with many questions and doubts.  Instead of asking God, they had asked the internet.  I call this the world’s way.

The world’s way of discerning truth includes the following: trying to study it out using logic and reason, using the scientific method, looking for proof or seeking for signs and miracles, reading LDS Apologetics (defenders of the Church) or its counterpart: anti-Mormon literature,  asking for archaeological proof that the Bible or Book of Mormon is true, or searching the internet to find out the Church is true.

The problem with the world’s ways is that if you use it to find out if the Church is true, or whether or not the anti that you read is true, you are never going to find a satisfactory answer. This dissatisfaction can go in two different directions, logically trying to prove or disprove the Church.

Proving the Church True

This can happen many different ways.  One might try and prove the Church true by reading about the miracles and fulfilled prophecies that happened during the early days of the restoration. They may also study the physical evidences of the Book of Mormon, such as archaeology, chiasmi, or the 3 witnesses.  I remember at one time reading an impressive article about physical evidences of the Book of Mormon.   The whole time I was like ha ha.  Take that people who say there is no archaeological evidence for the Book of Mormon.  To me it seemed that people must consciously refuse to notice the physical evidences in it because they do not want to admit the truth.

But when I finished reading about the different physical evidences, my testimony was no stronger than before.  All I wanted was another one.  It did not satisfy.   Why? because signs do not create faith.

For example, one may read that Joseph Smith had a limited education according to his wife and mother at the time he wrote the Book of Mormon.  This proves the Book of Mormon is true, because anyone who reads the book knows that its author did not have a limited education.  Or does it? Because maybe Joseph Smith didn’t write the Book of Mormon.  Or maybe his wife and mother lied when they told those statements because they were “in on it” too.  Or maybe the statements were simply made up by Church leaders today.

Every evidence that you study in this direction just leads to more questions and wondering. As Elder Christopherson said: “Faith will not come from the study of ancient texts as a purely academic pursuit. It will not come from archaeological digs and discoveries. It will not come from scientific experiments. It will not even come from witnessing miracles. These things may serve to confirm faith, or at times to challenge it, but they do not create faith. Faith comes by the witness of the Holy Spirit to our souls, Spirit to spirit, as we hear or read the word of God. And faith matures as we continue to feast upon the word.”

Trying To Disprove the Church

The principle is also true when one is trying to disprove the Church.  Besides the fact that this manner of discerning truth is not the Lord’s way, you can never really sure. How does one know that a particular condemning thought is true?  Perhaps it was written by detractors of the Church?  If it is true, how does one prove that it is necessarily evil? Does someone else judge it to be a good thing? And if it is evil, how does one know it is not simply the mistakes of men?  Once things of this nature are studied both from the perspective of someone who is apologetic to the Church and someone who is a detractor, it quickly becomes a battle of he said she said.  He says it is a big deal, she says it isn't.  He says she is biased, and she says he is biased.

But I invite you, if you do find some anti that gives you doubt, to do a little investigation.   It will not give you soul satisfying answers, but hearing a counter argument with Mormon apologetics can get rid of the ridiculous anti.   The most well known resource is fairmormon.org. Other good LDS apologetic institutions are FARMS or the Maxwell Institute.  After searching these sources I am typically able to find just as strong yet equally dissatisfying answers most of the time.  It is especially helpful for weeding out the things that obviously have no reason to give doubt.

But remember, you will not get a satisfactory answer discerning truth the world’s way.   It is OK to do an investigation about doubts or accusations using the world’s method, but eventually you will have to stop and walk away.  Many get trapped here, going back and forth between apologetic and anti-Mormon sources.  Some fall away from the church.  As Paul teaches, they are “ever learning, and never able to come to knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7).  If they had just spent that time instead drinking deeply from the Book of Mormon, the spirit would have born witness to its truth.

The temptation to investigate things the world’s way is much like giving into anger or revenge.  When one is angry, it feels like expressing, justifying, and increasing that anger is the only way to feel satisfied about it.  But this we know is only fuel for a fire, and it never satisfies. The only effective method is to walk away.

Why We Don’t Have All the Answers

The Lord designed our whole experience here on earth to force us to develop the gift of faith. I believe it is part of his plan of salvation, and that it is one of the chief essential characteristics that we will need in the next life.  And God is so intent on us developing that trait, that he will never do anything to interrupt those lessons.  This is why Christ would not give a sign of healing in the Book of Mormon, until after he saw their faith was sufficient (3 Nephi 17:8).  It is also why discerning truth the world’s way will not be satisfying, because God designed it that way.  So that in a sense we are motivated to try the Lord’s way, which because of its nature “forces” its user to have to exercise and develop faith.

Elder Callister further explained how this faith is always required.  “Sorrowfully, on occasion, some are willing to set aside the precious gospel truths restored by Joseph Smith because they get diverted on some historical issue or some scientific hypothesis not central to their exaltation, and in so doing they trade their spiritual birthright for a mess of pottage. They exchange the absolute certainty of the Restoration for a doubt, and in that process they fall into the trap of losing faith in the many things they do know because of a few things they do not know. There will always be some seemingly intellectual crisis looming on the horizon as long as faith is required and our minds are finite, but likewise there will always be the sure and solid doctrines of the Restoration to cling to, which will provide the rock foundation upon which our testimonies may be built.”

         This is not to imply a spirit of anti-intellectualism or ignoring things that conflict with our beliefs.  But a recognition of the reality that there will always be things we do not understand, and these questions can coexist with absolute certainty through the revelations of the spirit.

  To extend this thought, I believe God wants there to always be things we do not understand, so that we develop the attribute of faith. And I also believe that He designed the process of revelation through the Holy Ghost to be the way (as part of his plan of salvation) that we could perfectly know what was true, while still requiring faith to act upon that knowledge.

My Witness

No matter whether you are for or against the Church, there will always be some intellectual crisis looming on the horizon.

Those who are atheist have to explain the testimony of all those believers. (Alma 30:44).  As a member you have to deal with science that “disproves” the Book of Mormon. Anti that says horrible things about our history which gives you doubt because you have no way to confirm the validity.

But as a non-member of the Church you have to explain the Book of Mormon and its mounting evidences.  You have to explain the testimony of millions of members of the Church.  You have to explain the testimonies of thousands of miracles the early Church members had.  You have to deal with the prophecies that our prophets from the beginning have had come true. You have to explain the 80,000 missionaries volunteering and sacrificing their time and efforts.  You have to deal with the incredible success of the Church.  You have to deal with the sacrifices that millions of members of this Church have made since the beginning.  

With these 2 worldly arguments balancing each other (and other anti being balanced by other evidences and apologetics of the Church) you are left neatly in the middle with no more satisfaction or discerned truth.  I hope with all that I have written that you will see the foolishness of studying things the world’s way.  So please, at least for a month or so, accept on faith that there will always be some seeming intellectual crisis looming on the horizon.  Spend your time filling your mind instead with the pure doctrine of Christ, not the reasonings of the world.  Leave those intellectual issues to the side, and turn to Lord’s way of discerning truth.

            I leave you my witness that this work is true.    I have not focused much on the Lord's method of discerning truth during this post, but I testify certain knowledge directly from God can come from it.  There is a reason the Church seems to repetitively teach the importance of the Lord's method, because it is true and it works.  And those who know the method is true (like me) just want so badly for others to know for themselves.  I testify that God will answer your prayers, and I testify that He does give spiritual answers to rational concerns.

Works Cited

Ash, Michael R.. "FairMormon." FairMormon  Archaeological Evidence and the Book of Mormon Comments. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Mar. 2014. <http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/publications/archaeological-evidence-and-the-book-of-mormon>.

CALLISTER, TAD R.. "Joseph Smith-Prophet of the Restoration." - general-conference. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Mar. 2014. <https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/joseph-smith-prophet-of-the-restoration?lang=eng>.

CHRISTOFFERSON, D. TODD. "The Blessing of Scripture." - general-conference. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Mar. 2014. <https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/the-blessing-of-scripture?lang=eng&clang=ase>.

Notes and Additional Reading

Further thoughts on Sign Seeking:

All the physical evidence in the world does not have the power to build testimony.   The Lord spoke to this truth about faith when he spoke about why he kept the gold plates hidden from the world:  “ Behold, if they will not believe my words (the Book of Mormon), they would not believe you, my servant Joseph, [even] if it were possible that you should show them [the plates] which I have committed unto you (D&C 5:7).”

If someone asks for proof of the Book of Mormon, consider this question posed by Michael Ash: “What archaeological evidence might be considered the minimal irrefutable proof needed to convince a non-believing world of the authenticity of the Nephite scripture?” There are numerous things that were once criticized in the Book of Mormon for not having archaeological evidence. Now that these evidences have been discovered--evidences that Joseph Smith did not know about--do we see people flocking to the Church? “Thus, it can be seen that archaeological evidence for the Book of Mormon–which does exist–does not constitute proof, nor does it translate into belief.”

And do we not already know that signs do not create the belief that people think it will create? Did not the Sadducees and the Pharisees witness miracle after miracle, and still reject Christ and his divinity? Attributing his miracles to the works of the devil? Did not the Nephites in the Americas begin “to be less and less astonished at a sign or a wonder from heaven”? (3 Nephi 2:1-2, also see Helaman 16:13-23).